Mighty to Save

Hillsong - Mighty to Save

 San Diego Capernaum had its first committee meeting yesterday! Praise God! I am so amazed at what God has accomplished in and through all of us. Sometimes Andrea and I just look at each other with nothing to say because we are just so amazed at what is happening. I know that angels are rejoicing in heaven because they see what is happening in San Diego. Jesus is being proclaimed!!!!! What can overpower the joy of this!!

Yesterday, I almost let something overpower my joy and like Christ asks, I laid my burdens on him and he was mighty to save in awesome ways. As I left my house after preparing for the meeting in the morning I got in my car. On the way to Rancho Bernardo from SDSU my car made a huge "thump" in the road. I looked aorund and saw no pot holes or shrapnel in the road.I kept driving just knowing that I needed to get to the meeting on time. Once I was on the 15 freeway just past the 52 my front-right tire exploded and I went screeching to the side of the road. I called Andrea and told her that I probably wasn't going to be on time or maybe in attendance. IT wasn't the best time in the world to also find out that my AAA had expired in May. With 15 minutes wasted I just changed my tire out with the spare and went on my way.

Half way to the meeting I realized that I would have to buy a new tire and I didn't have a lot of money to be able to do that. My next fund raising deadline is coming up and all the money I have raised is still tied up in a bank account I cant access until I get hired (which can only happen once the $15,000) is raised. I began to weep while I was driving because I felt so "mistreated". I have just graduated from a prestigious university with a great resume and leadership experience. I thought "I could have a really steady paycheck right now and who knows what kinds of advancement opportunities...but no...I have close to nothing." I was mad at God for a moment. Why is this happening to me? I am dedicating my life to this ministry!

As I drove I was reminded of a sermon by John Piper Prosperity Gospel. I remembered the words "God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied with him in the midst of loss." I decided to stop my whining and throw down my regret and anger. I said, "the devil can take my tire but he has already lost...he can't keep me from GETTING to this meeting, and I will not let him keep me from BEING here." We proceeded to succesfully finish our first committee meeting. God has truly blessed this ministry. I am so very excited for what is to come and for what Andrea, Susan, Marcie, Linda and Steve are going to accomplish through the Holy Spirit within the next month.

After the meeting, one of the committee members offered me lunch and during out lunch offered to buy me a new tire. I was very hesitant at first, I was still letting pride control my motives. I didn't want to be the poor ministry kid who needs help. But they helped me understand what should happen. They said "this is what we (christians) should be doing. I really want you to let me get you the tire that you need." After a few minutes I let them do it and it was a blessing I will never forget. Praise God for his children and how he allows us to take care of each other.

1 John 3:17-18, Romans 8:32, Proverbs 22:9
This committee member loved me that day and I know that God is so satisfied with their joyous giving not only because of the blessing it is to me but because they have chosen to follow God's will and to serve. I know that the love of God is in them because it overflows from their lives!! I am not amazed and blessed because of the tire itself but because of their faithfulness!!! I should not have felt the way I did not in the morning in those brief moments. God has already saved me from everything. Any suffering I have now is to glorify him and see that the work of God be displayed in my life! (John 9:1-5)

I want to make sure that the story is clear. God did not bless me with material things, but he has blessed me with believers who at the drop of a hat would give all they had to see God's will be done and to serve others around them. My God is MIGHTY TO SAVE, and he didn't save me from the cost of a tire, but from the loneliness and fear of being alone. God didn't save my wallet, he saved my very soul.

Glorify God today and let his work be displayed in your life! He has blessed us in his love for us and he will not let us be taken from his unending gracious love!

Forever God is FAITHFUL. Forever God is STRONG.

Mathew 19:26 - "With people, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible."

When I first decided to pursue investing into this ministry, I spent a long time in prayer reaching out to God for guidance and clarity. I knew that I needed people who would walk alongside me in all of this and I knew I needed to rely on him. Throughout the beginnings of the ministry, God provided for me in so many ways. Whether it was housing, finances, or direction, he reached out to help me in my times of need through others. God also brought Andrea into my life, and me into hers. Her faithfulness and hard work has brought the ministry to a place now that I could not myself have accomplished without the work God has done through her.

The night before our coffee meet and greet at Andrea's house on Friday, Andrea and I took a few minutes to pray over the phone. We both felt a calling to lift up the ministry on prayer much more often than we had been doing. I was able to see how God honored our prayers and hard work the next morning. Our ministry went from 1 committee member to 4 in less than three hours!! Praise God for his faithfulness when we reach out to him. God responds with such mercy and grace.

I chose this title because I think it is important to know that me must seek him out not only because he is FAITHFUL to our prayers but because he is so STRONG!! Nothing is stronger than our God!! I wonder why I don't invite him into everything in my day!? A friend of mine, Joel, and I were talking and he said: "I fail to live for him completely every day. I wish I could have at least one day in which every second I live, I lived for God." I resonate with Joel because I see God's faithfulness and it is sad to me that I get surprised with how STRONG he really is.

It is amazing that God loves us in spite of who we are, it is even more astonishing that He is the most beneficial thing for us to have love us. Our God is strong and he loves us. I only wish we could constantly realize our potential in Him. For it is written "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him--" (1 Corinthians 2:9).

Take a moment now to acknowledge God for his faithfulness throughout your life and invite him to be powerful in and through you.

Romans 8:28

Be careful what you wish for.

As funny as the picture above here is, without too much joking, it is very descriptive of what I felt today and where I would be without God in all of this.

Throughout my day today I felt God talking to me in a way that I haven't heard him in a long time. I spent the morning at a baptism at Saddleback Church where a kid Sean was getting baptized. It was a great experience for me seeing the kid I took to camp for two years dedicate his life to the Lord in front of his families and friends. A lot of people would react differently to a kid with special needs getting baptized but angels were rejoicing in such a powerful way as four kids from High Rollers clubs professed their faith and were welcomed into the kingdom. It was an immensely joyful moment.

After the baptisms I drove down to the Anderson's home in Fallbrook where I had lunch. It is such a blessing to be able to invest time and love into a family and be served with food and community. It was both joyful and sad to learn more about their family but also to hear about the struggles of having two sons with autism. Seeing the hardship they have faced, even the small struggles, was inspiring and saddening at the same time. I am so unbelievabley thankful to continue to have the opportunity to walk alongside families like these and share in their struggles and joy. God commands us to carry each others burdens (Galatians 6:2) not just because it is what is the right thing to do but because he knows (and created) how much it will enhance and challenge us as followers of Christ.

After that I came home and then attended my home church for the 8pm service. Without going into the one hour conversation I had with my best friend outside of service, I will tell you that I had some frustrations I was dealing with that rocked me to my core. I spent quite a bit of time outside the congregation voicing my anger and my disappointment. Scott listened attentively to me. It took me to the end of the message to realize what God had been screaming at me all day!

Just like my blog entry "What it means to walk alongside", I am still learning more and more about what that means. I knew that the beginning of God's calling for me in this ministry was like a spiritual camp high that most all of us have felt, along with the sudden and swift drop once coming home. I "knew" that ministry is hard and that fighting the good fight is definitely not fighting the easy fight, but today I really lived it out. It is so frustrating to have the passion for something and the drive and feel that the people around you just don't get it, or worse...don't care. I was fooling myself when I thought that I would start Capernaum and every christian I know, and every church would leap in faith at the opportunity to help and to support and to do everything to see families of children with disabilities be served in the way God's children should. God looked at me straight in the eyes and secremed "WAKE UP! This is not easy, it's hard. You will not always be happy. You will not always be appreciated by people. Not everyone will agree or understand. I didn't ask you to do this because you are perfect for it...I asked you because you are willing and because I love you as I love them."

It all comes down to the fact that God's work is hard. It is not easy. And a christian life is marked by suffering, not prosperity. If I really want to live out what I'm preaching I will cry, I will hurt and I will need. God doesn't want me to feel like everything will be easy and it will never feel worth it by my own standards or the standards of the world. I must find solace and heavenly joy and peace in his grace and his love. I asked for the opportunity to do his work and I am realizing more and more that He didn't ask me because I am strong enough but because HE is strong enough. I will not prevail or succeed but God's kingdom will!

Heavenly Father, give me work to do, and let me do it knowing that you alone sustain me.

Big things, little things, and a community that LOVES.

I met with a future leader today, Nicole (Nsh), and we talked about her availability this next year for being involved in Capernaum. She seemed to have been concerned about being able to do "enough" as a leader. While I think that we all should strive for excellence in everything that we do, especially when working for the Lord, I think that sometimes we can stress out about not being able to do "enough". I told Nsh that whatever she can do to help is more than enough, and more than most people.

My girlfriend Kristen's sister, Katy, also randomly sent me an e-mail yesterday that had new and creative takes on the logo I created for San Diego Capernaum. I didn't even ask for it, but she found a way to help that was unique and meaningful. Along with these small acts of kindness and faith, a countless number of people have said "As soon as I get my next paycheck I am going to make a donation. It wont be much but I want to give." This amazes me.

While I have been fund raising I have gotten scared and worried when I get a small commitment or one time gift as opposed to a larger one. I selfishly wanted to just get it all done so that I could get to doing "real" work. I thought originally that if I could just get a couple big donors I could be set and have less worries. But...I am slowly realizing how much more I should appreciate the little things.

It would be very convenient and less stressful to have a few people support the ministry but I am realizing how much more beautiful it is to have SO many people do little things to support. While I don't think that having big donors is a bad thing, and I still wouldn't mind having a few, I would rather have 500 people doing little things than 15 people doing big things (if I had to choose between the two). It is an amazing thing to have a person give so much and be so faithful with their finances, but for those who can only do so much, the fact that so many people would stand behind a movement makes it strong.

We can never do enough. We have all missed the mark and can't earn anything in the eyes of the Lord. But we can accept and receive his grace. I am so thankful for all the people helping me financially launch the ministry, and I am also so thankful for all the people who are doing whatever they possibly can to help. Thank you all so much for everything you do for me, for San Diego Capernaum, and for the kingdom. Thank you for the big things and for the little things. Praise God that He forgives us and invites us into community with each other to do his work.

The body of Christ is at work for families and kids with special needs. Praise God.